When Eric F.
Box, of Dewsbury, booked the Leyland Beaver for a funeral, Andrew Box explained
that the lorry was too high to fit inside their garage. David Hall told Andrew
not to worry as there was a Kwik Fit just down the road. David phoned the Kwik
Fit Manager and made him aware of the arrangements he has with Kwik Fit to park
the vintage lorry undercover within their facilities the night before a
funeral. The Manager confirmed that their door was 10 ft high and he envisaged
no problems.
Sometimes
finding out about the Floral Tributes can provide a challenge and the funeral
in Leeds turned into the most challenging to
date. The Deceased’s Partner had placed an order for a two dimensional flat-bed
lorry Floral Tribute with Brian’s Flowers, a Stall Holder on Leeds Market. The
landline number David was given proved to be unobtainable but undeterred David
rang the Leeds Market Office and established a mobile number for man called
Dave. David rang the number, however, an international ring out tone was
evident and the call was quickly terminated. David then sent Dave a text that
produced no response. It was vital that David got some information on the
Floral Tribute because he was intending to build a wooden structure the same
shape as the lorry, so that the Floral Tribute would appear to be floating
unsupported.
So David
ignored the cost involved and phoned the mobile and spoke to Dave who was on
holiday in Spain,
but he gave David the mobile number for a gentleman also called Dave who was
holding the fort whilst Dave was on holiday. So David rang Dave in Leeds who knew very little about the Floral Tribute but
he asked David to ring him at 12 noon on the Friday when the oasis base would
arrive. David was concerned because the clock was ticking and he had only 48
hours left to design, source the wood and create the wooden support structure
the same shape as the Floral Tribute. In truth it would have simpler to put the
Floral Tribute on a 3 ft x 2 ft board as David had done in the past, however,
David is driven to always seek improvements to enhance his service offering.
David phoned
Dave at 1205 hours and Dave said, ‘Have you got a pencil and paper ready?’ Dave
then told David every dimension that he required. It was first class
information which allowed David to start work on the deck immediately.
As David was
working out the best route to get to Eric F. Box in Dewsbury he used Google
Maps to explore the roads approaching the Funeral Director. David was surprised
by the building that housed the Eric F. Box operation. The modernist outside
with clear lines could have graced a Grand Designs programme and David
commented to Andrew that it looked more like an Architect’s building not a
Funeral Home.
Earlier in
the week David had received an enquiry from Coventry
for the same day as the Leeds funeral,
however, the Family changed the day of the funeral to secure the Leyland Beaver
for the Friday following the Leeds Funeral which was on a Tuesday.
It had been a
number of years since the Leyland Beaver had been in Leeds,
however, the old girl knew where she was going. The journey went well with two
planned stops in Alcester and Leicester North Services where David had a
sandwich for his dinner. Carrying on the A46 was easy driving as large sections
of dual carriageway had been installed in the past ten years. The A6097 leads
onto the A614, an old three lane road from the 1950s and David was delighted
that cars were overtaking him as the vintage lorry hugged the kerb, often against
a stream of on-coming vehicles. The A1M was joined just north of Ollerton and
everything was going well until the A638 went through Wakefield and the traffic came to a halt
coinciding with the insanity which can occur at school home time. Mums launched
their 4x4s into the queuing traffic hell-bent on collecting their youngster
from school. Back in the 1950’s Mums used to walk to school and spend quality
time speaking to the children on the way home, finding out how their day had
gone. This scene seems light years away from the current day.
David was
concerned that Eric F. Box would close like so many other Funeral Directors at
1630 hours. So he stopped the lorry’s engine in the stationary traffic queue
and David phoned his wife who relayed the message to Andrew Box that David
might be 30 minutes late. David need not have worried because as soon as the
Leyland Beaver was in Eric F. Box’s yard a member of their team was assigned to
work for David, helping him clean the lorry.
Andrew
accompanied David down the road to Kwik Fit which was still extremely busy at
1745 hours. David tried to locate Bradley the Manager but unlike other Tyre
Fitting Companies this Kwik Fit Manager’s hands were dirtier than many of his
men. Andrew Box never the less shook Bradley’s hand and thanked him for
allowing the Leyland Beaver to park in their premises.
In the
morning Andrew collected David from the hotel and asked David if he was going
to the Crematorium to test if he could get the vintage lorry under the canopy.
David said, ‘No need, the space under the canopy is 107 inches and the Beaver
is just over 100 inches’. Dewsbury Kwik Fit is unique in that it has its own
traffic lights so getting out into the rush-hour traffic, which is normally a
concern, is not an issue with this site. In addition the translucent panels on
the door made sure that the Leyland Beaver was showcased for everyone one
passing on the busy Huddersfield road.
Whilst
waiting for the coffin to be loaded David was given a guided tour of the
Funeral Director’s premises which would have caused Kevin McCloud’s jaw to drop
with a vast open plan reception having offices above. The site had been a
former night club which had been tastefully refurbished with the steel roof
support girders being clad in stone. Beneath the reception desk a mirror
provides the deception that the green carpet extends for ever. Around this time
a ‘SHAUN’ Floral Tribute arrived unexpectedly and Andrew was delighted that
David had the facilities to make a feature of it within the display.
The journey
to the house in Leeds was made easier by
Andrew Box arranging for some of his men to block traffic and one car operated
in front of the Leyland Beaver with the passenger leaning out of the window,
using an expensive camera to take some amazing pictures. With another car
blocking the traffic at times it resembled ‘Smokey & the Bandit’. David was
impressed with Leeds Lorry Drivers who did not attempt to speed past the
vintage lorry but tucked in behind the cars in the cortege. One Lorry Driver even
straddled the white line on the dual carriageway to prevent any cars racing
past the cortege in the outside lane which remained empty.
Having
started at 0830 hours David could only work until 2330 hours so leaving
Dewsbury Moor Crematorium at 1400 hours and having taken 9 hours driving on the
way up, it was touch and go whether David could get home that night. David came
back the same way and made good progress arriving at Leicester North Services
at 1745 hours and taking his tea in KFC as the rush-hour traffic became
gridlocked on the A46. Leaving after his 45 minute legal rest break David took
the M1 where he stayed in the inside lane down to the M69. This improves
David’s safety, however, this was further enhanced by a 40 mph speed limit
being imposed on the overhead signs. David’s next target was to reach P.J.
Nicholls in Tewkesbury before it closed at
2100 hours. The competitive Derv price is mainly influenced by the Morrisons
store nearby but the ladies behind the till know David and are always interested
where he has been.
Overnight
road works in Quedgeley caused a detour, however, the Leyland Beaver was just
about in its garage when 2330 hours arrived. The next two days were spent
dismantling the Leeds display and erecting the one for Coventry which was radically
different.
Friday’s
funeral in the Stoke region of Coventry involved an early start with David
leaving at 0445 hours taking the Fosse Way A429 for the Funeral Director which
was on the East side of the city. David had planned his working week so that
another 15 hour shift, the second in 7 days, could be available.
David had
advised the Funeral Director the best way to the house, however, his advice was
ignored. Instead of going a short distance up Leicester Causeway and turning in
a commercial garage, the hearse driver leading the cortege elected to go down
the whole length of the street to avoid turning near the house. Unfortunately
cars were parked on both sides of Leicester Causeway and despite it being
obvious that a funeral was approaching in the opposite direction there was a
stream of oncoming cars and the cortege came to a halt with the hearse head to
head with a car. The cars were driven mainly by women who were talking to their
passenger rather than looking ahead. The cars wouldn’t reverse so the hearse
driver forced them to move over as he squeezed the hearse through the very
small gap. Basically there were 4
lanes of cars on the stretch of a street where 3 cars would have been
comfortable. The Leyland Beaver is 12 inches wider than a hearse and there was
only a hair’s breadth between the vintage lorry and cars at either side. The
lady driver in the oncoming car, still chatting to her companion, froze like a
rabbit caught in headlights. David tried to get the lady to drive forward slowly
because if he had moved first, with the lorry being 26 feet long, small
adjustments in the steering can produce large sideways movements to the rear
overhang. The lady refused to move her car fearing she would hit another car.
David was frustrated that the Funeral Director, who was in the hearse, did not
get out of the car to help him, after all his main role was to conduct the
funeral and to ensure that the cortege should arrive at the allotted time at
Canley Crematorium. However, to be fair even if he had wanted to help there was
no way that he could have opened the door to get out of the hearse. David was
in an impossible situation and The Animals song ‘We got to get out of this place’ seemed very appropriate. All he could do was pray for some guidance, but
David’s old Dad used to say, ‘God helps them who helps themselves.’ So he put
the lorry into second gear, first is reserved for going up stone walls, let the
clutch out and the lorry inched forward on tick-over. David stood up so that he
could judge how close the cars were in his diminutive wing mirrors and hoped
for the best. The lorry touched two wing mirrors but didn’t break them.
The Family
were lovely with David, they had asked for his permission to use his marketing
image throughout the Order of Service booklet. It is evident that some Families
want David’s lorry but some Families need his lorry. As David was leaving the
crematorium one of the Deceased’s Daughters ran after the lorry demanding that
David should stop so she could shake his hand. She and her Dad had met David
the previous year at the Classic Commercials Enthusiast Day in Malvern.
On the way
home David refuelled at P. J. Nicholls for the third time in 5 days. On
entering the shop to pay for the derv David noticed a short queue of people
waiting to pay for groceries for goods from within the shop. The Attendant
behind the till shouted, ‘Come forward Driver,’ and David was summoned to the
front of the queue just like Lorry Drivers were in garages and roadside cafes
in the 1950s.
