Vintage Lorry
Funerals first funeral in Bath
was an emotional send off for a well respected man and over 600 people
attended, which is documented in the Blog September 2017. Unbeknown to David,
his second funeral in Bath
would attract a similar sized crowd at Haycombe Crematorium.
The second
funeral in Bath was for the largest Funeral
Director in the City and often when visiting Bath with his wife, David would contemplate
how he would manage the logistics if he was ever asked to undertake a funeral
from their small yard.
David took a
phone call from a Funeral Arranger who he had known from her days working in Bristol. Kim was excellent
in providing the details of the funeral, including the timings and the Family’s
decision that there would be no flowers. Kim advised that the vintage lorry
needed to be with them by 1330 hours, however, she provided no information on
why the Deceased’s Family had chosen the vintage lorry.
The 1950
Leyland Beaver is based in a garage behind David’s home, however, the street
which leads to the main road can become gridlocked with cars being deposited at
inappropriate places by people needing to catch a train to Bath. Obstructive Parking has prevented
Emergency Vehicles getting up the street and on one occasion an elderly lady
fell at home, broke her hip, and the Ambulance couldn’t get near her house.
Sadly the lady had to be carried down the street and this event led to David
galvanising the neighbours to demand Double Yellow Lines. The concept has been
approved, however, it takes time for action to take place so, until Double
Yellow Lines are installed, David will leave the street before 0730 hours.
David was
left with a conundrum, where to park the vintage lorry in Bath, a historic city with Roman Baths and
elegant Georgian properties but with limited parking opportunities for any
vehicle larger than a car. David spoke to the Bath Spa Hotel, one of the most
prestigious hostelries in the city, frequented by famous clientele such as Joan
Collins. To David’s surprise the Receptionist was most friendly and offered
parking for the vintage lorry whilst David could have his morning coffee,
however, she omitted to mention the £15 parking fee.
The solution
involved David contacting Paul Dallenty, a Funeral Director based in Twerton,
the less affluent part of the city. Paul gave David his first funeral in Bath and was delighted to
help, highlighting the opportunity to park in the Bath City Football Club car
park or else in front of his shop. David opted for the second suggestion as he
saw a way to promote potential future business for both Paul and himself.
David arrived
in the Leyland Beaver at 0730 hours only to find that a Double Decker Bus had
parked in the space in front of Paul Dallenty’s shop. The Bus was waiting for
School Children and the Bus Driver was very interested in the vintage lorry,
taking pictures with his tablet. Then some of the children got off the Bus and
took pictures with their cameras.
Sue Hart, of
Paul Dallenty Funerals, was extremely kind and held up the traffic whilst David
turned the vintage lorry in the street. She then parked her car to prevent
anyone leaving a car in front of the lorry which would have created a
difficulty for the lorry to leave later in the day. Sue then invited David to
sit in the Dallenty Office where he wrote his next blog by the heat of the 3
bar electric fire. The warmth of Sue’s hospitality and the warmth of the office
were most welcome on this bitterly cold February day.
David left
Twerton at 1315 hours and proceeded to the Funeral Director where he was
scheduled to collect the coffin. There were no flowers for the funeral, so
David decided to arrive only 30 minutes before the cortege was due to depart,
because it wasn’t possible to get into the yard due to the volume of parked
cars. The only place available was very close to the Funeral Directors wall and
then to encourage those drivers wanting to pass, to mount the kerb.
A number of
people walked past and commented how clean the lorry looked and how fitting it
was for someone’s final journey. Whilst a Mother was talking to David, her
Daughter used her mobile phone to load up the Vintage Lorry Funerals website
and asked David about the most interesting Themes he had created. David
described some Themes that were related to TV shows, like a 1950’s TV Set with
The Lone Ranger & Tonto on the screen or his working model of Del Boy
falling through the bar from Only Fools & Horses.
As this was
the hub of the Funeral Directors operation, there were a number of coffins in
the despatch area and David asked which was the one that he was about to load.
Approaching the coffin indicated, David became alarmed that someone had left
some old rags on top of the coffin and he admonished the staff for not treating
the coffin with respect. One of the Funeral Director’s Staff started to chuckle
saying, ‘that ain’t rubbish Dave, that’s to go with the coffin, the Deceased
was a Painter & Decorator.’
As the
Leyland Beaver descended the hill down to the crematorium it became evident
that Deceased was a much loved and well respected man, because over 400
mourners were outside the chapel. David gave the Family Bearers instructions
how to receive the coffin and as the Deceased was being raised onto their
shoulders the ‘Only Fools & Horses’ Theme tune played, much to the delight
of most people in the crowd. Although David appeared calm, he was raging inside
because had he known more about the Deceased he could have created his ‘Only
Fools & Horse’ Theme with the working model, of the counter being lifted,
Del Boy falling through the bar and then springing back up again. Two of the
Deceased’s Workmates declined to go into the service and decided to talk to
David about his lorry. They understood David’s disappointment at not having any
contact with the Family.
The men
confirmed that the Deceased’s Family would have loved to see Del Boy falling
through the bar and that the extra £150 would not have been a problem, they
said they would have paid £75 each to see what David had described. David shook
his head and said, ‘I have a limited number of skills but being a clairvoyant
isn’t one of them, and if a Funeral Director doesn’t give me access to the
Family how was I supposed to know that the Deceased liked Del Boy. I hate to
leave a crematorium knowing that I could have done more for a Family.’
One of the
men then asked, ‘Have you ever had a whole family on your lorry, you know two
coffins together and then another one or two rows.’ David looked at the man and
said, ‘Do you mean loading coffins side by side?’ The man nodded and David
turned to the Funeral Director who had conducted the funeral and asked, ‘Why is
it that a member of the public can visualise coffins side by side but people in
the funeral industry can’t? David went on, ‘It is because when there are
multiple bodies for a funeral a Funeral Directors eyes light up, as more
coffins mean more hearses.’
The Funeral Director said that wouldn’t happen in his
company, however, he accepted that David’s comments would apply to most Funeral
Directors.
