Almost Three Steps from Heaven

At the beginning of April each year David Hall enters the 1950 Leyland Beaver in the C.T.P. (Commercial Transport in Preservation) Three Wiltshire White Horse Road Run which encompasses the White Horses at Westbury, Alton Barnes and Cherhill, on the A4, near Calne.

C.T.P. is an organisation for anyone interested in historic commercial vehicles, with meetings each month featuring talks from interesting speakers and 5 events each year when owners take their vehicle out on the road.

For David it provides an opportunity to spend a day with Stuart Smith, whose Father had his final journey on the Leyland Beaver two years ago. It is also an opportunity for members of the public to see the vintage vehicles on the road and sometimes coverage of the Road Run in the Wiltshire Times broadens the awareness of Vintage Lorry Funerals. David also likes to speak with fellow enthusiasts who run similar vehicles. Around 30 vehicles were on the 2017 Road Run ranging in size from a small Morris former Post Office van through to the gigantic Eight Wheeled Atkinson and Draw Bar Trailer, driven by Tony Thompson.

David also uses the Road Run to exhibit one of his funeral Themes and in 2017 it was a 1950’s TV Set with The Lone Ranger & Tonto on the screen.

David was first at the start point at Warminster and Mary Bailey, C.T.P. Events Organiser, is always pleased that David can create time between funerals to take part in Road Runs.

A number of vintage vehicles arrived and one member of the public complimented David on the cleanliness of the Leyland Beaver. The man said, ‘This Road Run is a fine opportunity for these vehicles to get out onto the roads once each year.’ David replied, ‘Actually my lorry is out and about 3 or 4 times each month’ and at the same time he handed the man a Vintage Lorry Funerals Business Card. The man was flabbergasted that he could have his final journey on the Leyland Beaver and he asked if he could keep the card, swiftly putting it into his wallet.

Stuart Smith arrived with his daughter Sara and they were pleased to see David again. Sara was worried that she had parked her car in the wrong place, which had been earmarked for Road Run vehicles by the C.T.P. Marshals, buzzing around in their hi-vis vests. David told Sara, in front of her Dad, not to worry about where the car was parked stressing, ‘Sara, a good looking woman is never parked in the wrong spot!’

The route involved going through small villages with very narrow streets and parked cars often providing obstacles. However, the biggest problems arose from inexperienced drivers who were unsure of the width of their cars. On a number of occasions David would pull into the side and invite oncoming cars to come through the gap, however, the inexperienced drivers would stop, unsure of what to do next. On one occasion a driver panicked, decided to reverse but stalled the car and then couldn’t easily start it again. The driver also had very poor reversing skills and eventually stopped forcing David to negotiate a tight gap, even narrower than the gap David had offered earlier to the driver. Stuart complimented David on his exemplary manners and demeanour towards other road users.

Stuart and David decided to stop for their sandwiches on the A4 in a lay-bye opposite Solsbury Hill and Stuart commented how lucky they were to find such a spot, saying, ‘People come from all over the world to park here and see this ancient burial mound’. Within 5 minutes a large Mercedes Benz pulled in front of the Leyland Beaver and out stepped a well dressed man in his 40’s and an olive skinned young lady, who showed interest in the lorry. She asked if she could take a picture and explained that in her homeland, Sri Lanka, similar lorries are still on the road. David gave the young lady a Vintage Lorry Funerals Business Card, explained the lorry’s use and invited her to look at the 1950’s TV Set Theme. David said that some of the words that Tonto said are still relevant 60 years on, like “White man speak with forked tongue”. The olive skinned young lady then looked very sternly at her companion and David felt guilty that he had stumbled on a sensitive area.

As Stuart and David were having their lunch David pointed out some of the changes he had made to the Leyland Beaver since Stuart was last in the cab. Included, was the picture of David’s Grandson, who sadly passed away aged 15 months on June 9^th 2014, and the laminated picture of him smiling is now fixed above the windscreen on the right hand side of the wiper motor.

Coming through a wooded area just after Seend there was a massive bang with something falling from the sky and hitting the Leyland Beaver. It all happened very quickly with David and Stuart seeing a black & white flash in front of the windscreen. David couldn’t stop with a number of vintage lorries travelling behind the Leyland Beaver, so he pulled into the next lay-bye.

Four other vehicles followed David into the lay-bye and the drivers rushed to check that David was alright. An external inspection revealed that the cab was dented just above the windscreen.

Tony Thompson who was driving an Eight Wheeled Atkinson and Drawbar trailer knows David from him undertaking Tony mate’s funeral in Chichester. Tony is an Eddie Cochran look-a-like at night and Lorry Driver by day. Tony looked inside the Leyland Beaver cab and said, ‘Dave, I don’t know who the little boy is, but he must be your Guardian Angel. I saw what happened, a huge branch fell from a tree and hit the top of the cab. If you had been half a second slower the branch would have come through the windscreen and you wouldn’t be doing someone’s funeral next week, someone would be doing your funeral. Eddie Cochran used to sing about Three Steps to Heaven but you Dave were only three inches from Heaven.’

David remarked that it was just like being back in the 1950’s when it was common place for other Lorry Drivers to stop and investigate if they could be of any assistance to a Lorry Driver broken down by the side of the road.

At the end of the Road Run at Crockerton Retail Park David laid out on the deck of the lorry three magazines featuring Obituary Articles that he had written, ranging in size from a quarter of a page, half a page and a two page spread. David said that only one of the families had thanked him for getting the article into the magazine and he asked Stuart and Sara to select which article had generated a response from the family. Sara chose the magnificent two page spread, however, her Dad chose the smallest article and Stuart was correct.

Tony Thompson asked if David was alright and offered to polish out the mark the branch had made on the cab. There was a suggestion from Mary Bailey, C.T.P. Events Organiser that next year the April 2^nd date for The Three White Horse Road Run may have to move until later in the month. David mentioned to Tony that the Road Run should be moved to the Sunday nearest April 17^th and Tony agreed, suggesting a small detour to Rowden Hill in Chippenham and stopping at the Eddie Cochran memorial.

Eddie Cochran performed his last concert at the Bristol Hippodrome on Saturday April 16^th 1960. On Easter Sunday April 17^th Eddie was in a taxi on its way to Heathrow, however, the car crashed on a bend on Rowden Hill and spun around into a concrete lamp post. The injuries that Eddie suffered were fatal and he passed away at 1610 hours in St. Martins Hospital Bath with his girl friend Sharon Sheeley by his bedside.

On Monday April 3^rd David’s wife washed and polished the lorry whilst David dismantled the Theme and prepared the deck for a minimalistic funeral in Westbury on Tuesday April 4^th. It was amazing that during the Sunday Road Run the 1950 Leyland Beaver had been past Arthur W. Mays, Funeral Director, in Warminster Road, Westbury four times and David commented to Stuart that the narrow alleyway seemed to be getting narrower each time the lorry went past the entrance.

On the Tuesday Arthur W. Mays staff stopped the traffic and gave David all the time he needed to reverse to the end of the drive. Anthony handed over a cheque inside a blank envelope and David thanked him for the cheque and for not writing on the envelope, which would enable David to reuse it. David thought to himself that Arthur had taught his men well. Since this funeral, Arthur has sadly passed away and the business is now run by Simon and Anthony.

Whilst the Leyland Beaver was being paged into Semington Crematorium, Trevor Porter, Photographer, popped out from behind a tree and a picture of David behind the wheel appeared in the Wiltshire Times the following week.

The second funeral in April was for Fred Stevens Funeral Directors in Nailsworth and the Deceased was one of the Bearers who had assisted David when he last worked there in 2010.

The Deceased had been a Model Collector with over 630 model vehicles, never out of their boxes, stored on shelves in a temperature controlled room, from which light had been excluded. David created a replica Model Toy Box and the Family were delighted with his efforts.

Two days before the funeral, David became aware of a massive hole that had been dug, but not re-filled, on the roadway into the Funeral Directors. David believes in providing solutions not problems so he brought with him lengths of 4 x 4 inches timber and created a ‘raft’ so that the 68 year old lorry could gently descend into the hole and then to climb out of it. The Deceased was a very practical guy and David felt that he was looking down and smiling as David gently manoeuvred the Leyland Beaver over the problem area.

The Deceased’s Family came to the Funeral Directors to see their Dad on the vintage lorry and they wanted a photograph of his wife and children in front of the coffin. The Eldest Daughter was organising the photo-shoot when she sadly realised the battery was low on her mobile phone. David stepped forward and offered to help saying, ‘Can I be of any assistance? I have something in the cab called a camera!’ Everyone laughed and this provides a good example of how David uses self deprecating humour to create a distraction for grieving families on their darkest day.

The crematorium selected on this Easter Saturday was Westerleigh, near Bristol, and the journey involved travelling 35 miles mainly down the A46. The first challenge was the very steep hill out of Nailsworth, however, assertive driving at the roundabout in the town centre enabled David to slip the 68 year old lorry into top gear and the old girl cruised up the hill at 25 m.p.h. Getting cars past in the early part of the journey wasn’t difficult with little traffic volumes and the long straight stretches of this former Roman Road. However, when the A433 from Tetbury joins the road the traffic density was increased. With over 50 cars trapped behind the Leyland Beaver at 30 m.p.h. David opted to pull over into a long lay-bye to let the cars past. Twenty cars roared past but the Driver of a grey Range Rover saw that David was coming towards the end of the lay-bye, he flashed his head lights twice and invited the Leyland Beaver, which was still in top gear, back onto the carriageway. The Range Rover was driven by someone attending the funeral, and he followed the Leyland Beaver all the way to the crematorium.

The Range Rover Driver introduced himself to David after the service and explained that he was also a Lorry Driver. David said that he had deduced that from what he had done on the A46. Not only because he had flashed the Leyland Beaver out of the lay-bye but he had also demonstrated his knowledge of Lorry Drivers’ Signalling Code, which was prevalent in the 1950s ( Two Short Flashes means you come out, but one long flash means hold back because I’m coming through).

Also at the Crematorium was a Photographic Student who took numerous pictures, one of which is exhibited below. David is indebted to Kieran Wakefield for allowing his images to be used to develop the awareness of Vintage Lorry Funerals. 

Leyland Beaver for a Funeral in Wells

On a Saturday afternoon David Hall got a call on his mobile from a family in Wells whose Dad had just passed away. David is always deeply moved when a family ring him first before contacting a Funeral Director. The funeral date couldn’t be advised as the death had not been registered yet as nothing can happen until the Death Certificate is produced.

The Funeral Director from Wells rang to say that they had a low archway. As the Leyland Beaver couldn’t get into their yard the Funeral Arranger suggested that the funeral should be transferred to a Funeral Director in the same group at Shepton Mallet, who had a sizeable yard. As the Deceased’s home was in Wells, David elected to use the Wells Funeral Director and sit on the Double Yellow Lines outside the location whilst he loaded the flowers and then move down to be opposite the archway when it was time to load the coffin.

The Floral Tributes were ‘DAD’, a ‘Horseshoe’, a 17 inch ‘Heart’, a ‘Polo Ring’, a Coffin Spray and a ‘Teardrop’. David designed a layout in which every Floral Tribute was visible and spoke to the three Florists involved regarding the measurements that he required. Mundys Florist in Radstock, who supplied the ‘Horseshoe’ were emailed a sketch of a horseshoe with key points being highlighted that needed to be measured. From the data supplied by Colin Mundy, David created a scaled diagram, a cardboard template and thence a wooden support structure that would be invisible behind the Floral Tribute. Very few people understand the time and effort David takes to get a Floral Tribute to appear to be floating in mid air.

David kept the Son of the Deceased updated as the build of the various support structures progressed and he replied, ‘I have complete confidence in what you are going to do and everyone is looking forward to seeing the results of your work.’

Two days before the funeral David asked the Funeral Arranger to put out cones north & south of the Double Yellow Lines on the assumption no one would park on the Double Yellow Lines. However, David’s rational was shattered when the Funeral Arranger said that she could not guarantee that no one would be on the Double Yellow Lines when David arrived.

In preparation of what to do if someone was parked on the Double Yellow Lines, David phoned Wells Police, who said it was the responsibility of the Council, who said it was the job of the Highways Department, who said it was the duty for the Police to lift a car off the street if it was causing an obstruction!

So David decided to follow his old Dad’s advice that ‘God helps them that helps themselves.’ David formulated a strategy of arriving early in Wells at around 0700 hours when most people were still in their beds and contractors working at houses on the High Street hadn’t yet arrived. Also in order to minimise the impact of fuel price increases, David tries, wherever possible, to use Food Retailer Sites. Most Retail Service Stations don’t welcome lorries that find turning in front of the shop to be a very tight manoeuvre. The best time to visit a Retail Service Station is just after it has opened for the day when there are no cars, only White Van Men. So David left Bradford-on-Avon at 0530 hours and rolled into Tesco Shepton Mallet at 0630 hours and was on the Double Yellow lines in Wells at 0715 hours.

To David’s surprise, the Funeral Arranger had left the cones on the Double Yellow Lines and not north or south of them as he had requested. He was baffled why the Funeral Arranger had protected the Double Yellow Lines as the law demands that no one should park on them and although it is sometimes misunderstood the owners of Disabled Blue Badges can only park on a Double Yellow Line for 3 hours maximum. Double Yellow Lines do allow unloading or loading to take place but not parking, so David was puzzled why the Funeral Arranger had protected a stretch of road that in his opinion didn’t need protecting. However, all became clear to David when the owner of the house situated beyond the archway into the Funeral Directors yard offered David a cup of tea. He told David that one Saturday night when he was going to take his Daughter to the airport, he found that someone had left their car on the Double Yellow Lines opposite the archway and this prevented him from getting his car out. The man had to call a taxi and bear the cost of taking his Daughter to the airport.

David’s overall strategy had worked as by 0815 hours a resident left for work and vacated the space up the hill from the Funeral Directors and David reversed the Leyland Beaver off the Double Yellow Lines. As David sat in his lorry waiting for the Funeral Arranger to arrive, he admired the view from the cab and thought that Wells was one of the most atmospheric places that he had visited with his vintage vehicle.

The Funeral Arranger arrived and was relieved that David had found the space he required and she told David about the problems she had encountered with cars being left overnight obstructing the Funeral Directors premises. On one night staff had collected a body from a local Care Home but couldn’t access their own premises due to inappropriate and illegal parking. On this occasion the Police were called and a Recovery Company lifted the car off the street during the night.

Wanting to post a letter David asked where the nearest post-box was, which turned out to be just down the street and only 100 yards from Wells Cathedral. David’s only regret was that he didn’t post the letter 5 minutes earlier as he could have witnessed an amazing spectacle. The Wells Cathedral Clock dates from 1390 and is the oldest working clock in the world. Every fifteen minutes inside the Cathedral two figures from the 14^th or 15^th century strike a bell with a hammer and on the outside two rings of jousting knights appear to be charging at each other some 100 feet above the ground. The clock was wound by hand for over 100 years by descendants of Paul Fisher a Jeweller and Horologist in the town.

The Son of the Deceased had originally intended to travel in the cab with David, however, at the last moment he declined as he was needed in the limousine to comfort his Mum. So a gentleman from Liverpool, called ‘Scouser Steve’, travelled with David from the house in Wells to Shepton Mallet Crematorium. As David changed gear Steve smiled and his eyes lit up as the sound and smell from the Leyland 600 engine reminded him of the happy times he had spent with his own Dad, travelling in a Leyland Octopus along the East Lancs A580 Road in the early 1960’s.

After the service the Son of the Deceased shook David’s hand and thanked him for his professionalism and his attention to detail. Unbeknown to David the funeral was videoed for Somerset Live and was posted on the internet which is one of the best marketing opportunities that Vintage Lorry Funerals had been involved with that had not been initiated by David.